So today for my quiet time with God, I looked up a devotional by Beth Moore. Today's topic was how we today live in the lap of luxury, much like King Neb did in Daniel chapter 4 before God humbled him by sending him into the wild for 7 years to live like the animals. I really felt like God had something to say to me through this, and although I was getting it, nothing was really saying "Hey Katie, look at this!" like I thought it would. So, I went to Daniel 4 and started reading. Now, I have read this chapter quite a few times in my life, but the verse that really jumped out at me never would have before.
Ever since I had Lorelai, I have really, really struggled with anxiety. Maybe it's the extreme change that is taking place in my life, maybe it's the stress of having a human life to care for, maybe it's that lack of structure that was always there from day to day at my full time job, who knows. As anyone who has anxiety knows, it is an overwhelming, suffocating feeling and a constant state of drowning. It is hard, discouraging, and changes from feeling awesome one day, to feeling depressed the next. I often wonder how long it is going to last. Will I feel this way as long as I have a small child? Until I am so broken that I decide to go back to work full time just to get away from the responsibility I know God wants me to be in charge of right now? (Not to say that I won't work part-time, I feel God says that is okay for me. By the way, this is in NO way suggesting that God has not called anyone else with kids to work full time or that anyone who works full time with kids is running away from their responsibility. This is purely what God has spoken to MY life at this moment in time.) Needless to say, it's all I can think about sometimes. The verse I read today was SOOOO encouraging to me, so I thought I would share it- along with a big piece of my heart- with all of you! It comes from Daniel 4:34:
"At the end of that time, I, Nebuchadnezzar, raised my eyes toward heaven, and my sanity was restored. Then I praised the Most High; I honored and glorified him who lives forever.
His dominion is an eternal dominion;
his kingdom endures from generation to generation."
Did you get that? His sanity was restored when he raised his eyes towards heaven and honored and glorified God! *sigh of relief* This will not last forever. It will pass. Thank God! I pray for all of you who have anxiety, and hope you pray for me, also.
Love,
Katie
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Nebuchadnezzar and Me
Posted by The Littles at 7:37 AM
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5 comments:
Hey Katie,
Thanks for the recommendations. It is definitely helpful to have someone who has used the items and can give an accurate review. Where can I find zip up onesies? I have found some velcro ones, which I thought would be easier than snaps, but I never saw zip up ones.
Thanks for your help. Feel free to share other pearls of wisdom.
Oh, and is there anything else I ought to add to my registry that has been helpful/beneficial to you?
Also, congrats on your winnings in Vegas.... I would say that you are pretty lucky!
i love you...we can look up to heaven together.
Hey Katie,
Email address has changed to a.johnson.a7@gmail.com
MJ
I consider myself an expert in this area...I have suffered the same symptoms since having my twins until now. I feel that it's a burden we must carry as mothers. It's not easy to give up a large part of ourselves, as a sacrifice, to give whole-heartedly to our family. But at the same time it's what we WANT to do. It's schizophrenic thinking, in a way. The solution is to always focus on the big picture. You have been called on to be a mother and wife. You are working hard to do both of these things well. It will take it's toll on you, but in the long run they will love you for it (and you'll love yourself for it too.) I know it's sooooo hard! (and you're very normal for feeling this way) Keep your eye on the prize!! You're doing a fantastic job. And if you ever need to just vent or scream or cry...give me a call. It won't shock me in the least!!
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